frustrated

Sitting in this humid room, looking at the outer world with the peep of my weary eyes through the window, where the leaves fall ubiquitously as though I am the fallen one. Reminiscing the semester that I’ve encountered so far, whereby this semester would so far the sickest I’ve ever met. Problems regarding friends, curriculum, and interpersonal attitude attributed vast change in me. I’ve never been so stressed up in my entire life except for now. For a person who can go home but instead stayed right here in the middle of the forest for almost a month is a total catastrophe. The academic problems I had been with several disconnected friends whereby one of them was my so called partner in a certain assignment. I’ve no blames and regrets on him but on me for choosing him as my partner, it was Hobson’s choice for me to pick him because of me always the segregated one among the others no matter what. The friend of mine not only did not complete the task given but made the entire assignment late for submission. It was rather at the eleventh hour that his as usual dilly- dally caused me some marks in the assignment and I repeat (SOME MARKS) where it was rather a lot where I got only 5.5 out of 10 thanks to him. I could not have thanked him too much until I saw the marks and guess what, the assignment only have my part of work and not his. When I asked him where is his part, he replied with a cynical smile “He, he rilex la, we simply do so we get low marks lo”. What do he meant by WE SIMPLY DO? It’s him that did not complete the assignment I gave him. Tell me, how can I trust him anymore? A person that lied to you and did not do the things you gave him especially assignment. He did not do the assignment and WTF is wrong with him? IS HE SICK with his GOD? He did not attend the class is none of my business, but he not completing the assignment I gave him is totally my business. Next, I’ve forgotten the Alma matter between me and he and I decided to give him another chance to do the assignment with me in the same group. This time around, it’s even worse, my former schoolmate chatted with him about the assignment, he once again stated that he did the work but guess what, ladies and gentlemen, what he did with our assignment was just combining all the five articles me and my friend synthesized without editing a word. Is that called an assignment synthesizing? Because of my dear friend, we got only 10.5 out of 15. What a great job. Thanks to his cut, copy and paste job without using his brain we got that low. Next, what are friends? Can anyone define what is friend? I’ve no comment in this column because so far I could not find a true friend in this university. That is why my dear readers, would you be surprised why I did not mix around with anyone, not even Google talk I have. Even in the university you would noticed that I always mix around with that two statesmen but in fact it’s only because I’m in the same block with them. I do not think that I’ve the same frequency with them, it’s not back stabbing them here but I could not really express how I feel to them. Each time I tried to expressed my opinion, both of the Perakman would disagree with what I said. I just don’t know why they (ALWAYS DISAGREE WITH ME). Even there was once I remembered that I heard one of them mentioned something and both of them immediately disagree with me and said I like to add stuff or lie. Why no one would trust me? Is it because I’m the clown who always brings jokes and do not seem to be respected by others? I feel down right now. Lately, a girl that I’m very close with decided not to hang out with me anymore with the reason “hey wai boon, I’m not so close with you, why must I go out with you?” WTF, I’ve known her for 4 years and each time we hang out, I’m the one who volunteered to fetch her from her home and back to her home. Me and her can considered a close friend and now suddenly she was like “Erm, let us be closer only I hang out with you”. What do she meant? Why only now she doesn’t want to hang out with me? What about the last time where I used to hang out with her? I’m very worried about my other close friends where they would suddenly derecognise me. What happened to them? I’m seriously weeping my tears when I think about everything that comes to me so badly. Why should I be so unlucky? I’m frustrated...